The Talk
by violafanatic
Summary: What could he say? His angel needed to be protected. Besides, the white lie is hurting him more than it is her. Literally. He should really invest in carpet flooring. And carpet walls.
To any outside spectator, it would have appeared to be a routine Saturday evening at the Arendelle-Frost household. But any close friend or family member would have been able to call out the tense atmosphere in the girly bedroom that the family was situated in. Elsa could only take helpless glances between her tense husband and her anxious daughter as she tried her best to pass it off as constipation from the nonexistent beans they were eating. They were drinking tea. And it was only her who was drinking.

At the moment the problem was not who but what as their 12-year old daughter had just received her first phone. Although this was an important milestone that indicated their trust of her, with the added freedom came the concern that plagued any father's mind, _boys_.

Jack couldn't bear to torture himself with the thought of his precious girl with access to boys without his supervision. When it came to boys, Jack often had the image of his baby girl on the streets, pregnant, alcoholic, addicted to crack, depressed, smoking, and then dying. "And that is why you are not going to be dating until you are 32." The thought was morbid and would keep him awake for hours at night as each time something would add itself to the list.

"Dad, it's only a snap phone and I don't even think I can make more than 5-minute calls every 3 hours..." The 12-year old tried to reason with her father.

"Then that makes your calls all the more valuable. Remember, use your phone only for emergencies." The stern expression on the patriarch's face made it clear that his order was serious. "And if any boy ever asks for your number, just give him mine and I'll deal with it." His wife next to him could only roll her eyes as she listened to the speech that he had been practicing since the day he learned that his first child would be a girl.

"Honey, she knows better than to do anything irresponsible. She is _my_ daughter as well," Elsa remarked with a hint of pride. Now it was Jack's turn to roll his eyes. A retort was on the tip of his tongue when a cry resounded from the other room.

"Must be Hale," Elsa noted as she got up to attend to their 9-month old son. "I'll go take care of him while you wrap up things here." She pecked her husband on the cheek before giving him an encouraging shoulder rub.

When he saw that his wife had finally left Jack turned to his daughter and commanded her full focus with his authoritative, but tender, tone.

"Believe me when I tell you this baby girl: everything I tell you is because I care for you. I have never lied to you and I won't begin now." Jack vowed as he held up his hand in a solemn manner. The petite girl responded with a giggle as her cobalt eyes shone. Jack always loved the fact that she got his eyes because as much as he loved Elsa's eyes, there was a subtle beauty in the grey-ish tint of her blue eyes that accented her platinum blonde hair and made her all the more attractive, and now, a problem.

"Then, daddy?" Emma asked with her eyes shining with innocence, "I'm curious, where do babies come from?"

The question was like a frozen solid snowball to the head. Without realizing it Jack fell off the little girl's bed and landed head first on the hardwood floor. _I'm investing in getting carpet flooring._ Jack thought begrudgingly as he got up. Unfortunately for him, his accident was not enough to deter the young Frost who continued to look at her father expectantly for the Talk. _You haven't lied to her before... Well, before and now are two different things. Elsa can be the honest parent from now on._

"Storks." He deadpanned.

"Storks?"

"Yes. Like a swan, but not like a swan." Emma could only blink at the answer. Seeing that there was no immediate rebuke Jack quickly continued.

"When two people really love each other, Mr. Stork delivers them a baby in the hospital." Seeing that he had his daughter's rapt attention, Jack was encouraged to continue. "When the couple is able to prove that they love their baby enough to handle another one, Mr. Stork delivers more babies. Thus, that is why you have siblings."

"Where does Mr. Stork get the babies?" The girl was suddenly very interested in the uncharted territory. _Heh, for you and me both, baby girl._

"The moon." At this point, Jack was grabbing at anything. "At night, parents wish for a baby and if they, er, _wish_ hard enough, the moon will grant them this wish and the stork will deliver the baby to the _hard-working_ couple." Elsa would have killed him for the innuendos, but thankfully they only flew past the innocent's mind. His wife can clean this misunderstanding up later, but right now Jack was just trying to tie up any loose ends.

"Wow! But, why have I never seen Mr. Stork?" Emma pouted and began motioning to the air around her.

"Because he is also a ninja," Jack began until he spied a billboard from the window, "Turtle?" Realizing what he just said Jack began shaking his head but the girl heard him loud and clear.

"What?"

"Well, how should I explain this." _How_ should _I explain this..._ "Because of the recession, Mr. Stork needs two jobs. So, by day, he is Mr. Stork and by night he is a Ninja Turtle."

"Which one of the Turtles?" The 12-year old eyed him suspiciously.

"He's all of them. They just Photoshop him different shades to make it look like different turtles. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that they never take off their masks? That's because they all share the same identity." He nodded his head, proud of his somewhat reasonable explanation.

"Then there shouldn't be any need to call him Mr. Stork" the 12-year old was getting confused. And so was Jack.

"No! No, there is a reason. Um, he needs an alias so his part-time job delivering babies doesn't hurt his acting career." Jack explained and sighed in relief when he saw that his daughter believed him, somewhat.

"That's so cool."

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone else. Especially your mom. Mr. Stork doesn't want too many people knowing about his second job since he gets tax benefits from the studio. So let your friends continue believing in wherever they think babies come from, okay?"

The little blonde nodded her head eagerly and high-fived her father who got up from the bed. Jack could call this a temporary win. Not only did he preserve her innocence for another day, he averted a potential crisis. After patting her head, Jack walked out to see his son.

"And here I thought that babies were made by sex."

Jack managed to trip over air that day as he then headbutt a wall. He blames it on the Ninja Turtle Stork.


End file.
